Category: Towards PhD!

Words have weight

“I don’t feel like writing today!” I screamed into the void of my self-imposed consistency within my limited and deteriorating personal bandwidth that I have pretty much used up recklessly and without a care for my own health over the years. It is funny how I keep saying to my friends — it’s the pandemic, […]

Worry stone

The week after successfully defending my PhD thesis, my life fell into its normal routine — which is to say in this current global pandemic, still hadn’t secured a job, depleting financial savings, worried of my mother’s health and mine in this neverending purgatory, and ready to guard the house in a kebaya on Eid […]

What good shall I do with this knowledge now?

If it isn’t quite obvious from the picture above, I have passed my viva examination with minor corrections! While I understand having nerves would be natural in times like this, I was initially shitting hard, concrete, rigged bricks. My viva was scheduled to be on Friday morning and I have scheduled a practice with a […]

Viva week!

“Halloween in Harlem“, Amy Stein. Taking a break from writing non-work things this week as it is my PhD viva voce examination week! In the meantime, wash your hands, keep your social distance, stay home if you can, vow to fight fascism, and wish me luck! 🧿

On thin places

Someone in my Twitter timeline today, of whose newsletter I am subscribed to, wailed, “I don’t want to send a newsletter today, I don’t feel like it!” and it was echoed by a number of other people, which I find both surreal and funny, of whose newsletters I am subscribed too as well. I wanted […]

Culture of idiots

I forgot how the whole pursuit of job searching is a job by itself. Writing self-promoting paragraphs after paragraphs, assessing which companies would fit your values, trying to determine how much you are going to be paid at the same wary you might be asking for so much (or so little?), being overwhelmed with so […]

How to lose a country

(First of all, FINALLY SUBMITTED MY THESIS!) Last week, I finished reading How to Lose a Country: The Seven Steps from Democracy to Dictatorship by a Turkish journalist and political thinker in exile, Ece Temelkuran, which is a brilliant memoir/nonfiction on how countries, regardless of geography or administration, can quickly slide into dictatorship once we […]

This doesn’t reduce me

I still was not able to submit my thesis. Apparently there are still some leftover administration woes (!!!) which pushed the deadline to yet again, hopefully, another day. I swear in 4 days I am going to look back at this post and revel in the fact that I have finally successfully submitted. There is […]

Make space

I’m very fascinated on yesterday’s discovery found through Alan Jacobs’ brilliant newsletter, Snakes and Ladders, about this very interesting institution during Safavid Iran called kitab-khana, literally ‘book-house’. I remember when libraries in Malay used to be called kutubkhanah, which I used to think was named after the Pole (of ‘kutub’ = North and South Pole) […]

Courage is strategic

I have realised that I have indeliberately gotten into this new practise recently as I started to journal everyday in my 2020 Moleskine Planner. I am still in knee-deep with my university administration woes at this point of time — just like today, I received my Turnitin report one week after requesting (which I remembered […]