I have decided this is going to be my solely 2020 goal:
Especially after stumbling into Zan Romanoff’s newsletter where she talks about the struggles of trying to discern how much you have achieved things in life and how much you want to achieve more, but still feel like you aren’t there yet (I believe this is an ongoing monologue of mine in this blog, of which I am happy to hear if anyone has any of their own stories to chip in):
“Now that this has happened,” she said, “honestly, my biggest goal for this year is to figure out how to enjoy it. Because I’ve watched so many people achieve these things that seem like the peak, like the pinnacle, and somehow, they’re still miserable. It turns out that there’s nothing so big– no award, no contract, no amount of money– that it just, like, transforms you into a person who’s satisfied, and who feels like she’s done enough. That’s something you have to figure out how to get to yourself.”
… it is so hard to know where ambition and drive end, and useless self-sabotage begins. I wanted one thing; I got it; I set a new goal. That’s reasonable, right? The problem is when I allow the new goal to make the old ones seem smaller than they were, and are. I’ve done so many things that, five or ten years ago, would have seemed like wildest-dream material. It’s stupid that I let myself forget that as often as I do.
And, (I feel) this poem just encapsulates everything about the anxiety of internally validating yourself in a world that constantly demands your attention, your productivity, and your hours to churn ‘marketable’ work that will translate into your personal worth.
- I’ve been anxious about the thought of returning to work after taking a few years off to pursue a PhD, knowing companies are still fond of asking about the gap of unemployed years. Some good and cheeky answers here.
- I’m not sure who said this, because apparently it’s all over Twitter, but it’s so good I couldn’t ignore it. “Don’t be afraid to start over again. This time, you’re not starting from scratch, you’re starting from experience.“
- “You can root for others while you’re rooting for yourself. The sun shines on us all.”