I have a secret (which is no longer a secret now, it seems): whenever I am due to burn the midnight oil as I try to catch the deadline of any particular important tasks, like now thesis schmesis thing, I put my Spotify on private mode and rock to Backstreet Boys, particularly Everybody (Backstreet’s Back). Don’t need any one of those lo-fi hip-hop beats playlists, or ones where DJ Khaled perpetually calling out his own name to energise — just take me back to 1997 where I still had unbounded energy and everything seemed to be so possible, where the knowledge of the world burning us alive due to our own incompetence is still far away and incomprehensible.
I was once asked if I would like to go back to my 20’s. I answered, honestly I would, if I possess the same energy during that phase, the awareness of a myriad of issues in my late 30’s now along with the development of empathy towards others, and the DGAF attitude that I have acquired over the years. Basically, the body of a 20-year-old, the mind of a late 30-year-old. I don’t want to return to become who I was in my 20’s. That reason alone would require another lengthy post and I am not about to start.
I listened to this episode on Malcolm Gladwell’s (I know, there are some of his ideas that I don’t quite agree too) Revisionist History called Puzzle Rush, talking about the efficiency, or the lack of it of time limits on tasks. The first section talks about the LSAT (the Law School Admissions Test for those who want to attend law school in the US) — where it seems that in order to finish all 125 questions, divided among five sections, the participants have to read things quicker than you can actually read them (the people interviewed demonstrated this) and try to answer the questions without fully understanding it. The second part talks about three different kinds of chess games — classical chess, blitz chess and bullet chess, where the difference in the game is down to the time constraint allowed. Honestly all this talk about doing things in a rush, and especially “doing things without fully understanding” sort of triggers my anxiety. I have worked under pressure for so many years and while it seemed to be challenging, to be honest I’d want to sit down and devote my time properly to a lot of tasks I have worked without fully understanding it, because speed was always the utmost importance.
Speaking of that, I have also been unable to devote proper time to research and write properly on topics in this blog. Everything I wrote here is all bits and pieces of everything I have consumed, and I feel responsible for that. That’s definitely something to improve.